Assuage
by ComSnow
Summary: A slightly darker take on our favorite loner's life, what made him into the man we know as Hikiagaya Hachiman and how he moves forward. Eventual [8man x Kaori]. Not canon compliant.
1. Chapter 1: Enter Hikigaya Hachiman

Lies. The only truth in this world is that everybody lies. I, self-proclaimed master of the 108 loner arts declare this to be the only fallacy free truth there is. My parents are the biggest example of a lie. The thing about lies is that, they don't last forever, and when their time comes, there's almost a bitter-sweet after taste left in its wake. When our parents got separated, we were happy the fighting was over, but things never really tend to stay the same. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a disbeliever, but my faith in a god was waning. The only thing I had going for me, was my little sister, Komachi. If there's one good thing left in my life back then, then it was undoubtedly her. Dad got custody, but we almost never saw him because he at work most of the day so he could provide for us and wasn't really in a position to move when he got back. I respect him, and more than anything else, pity him. As for mom, if she's even worthy of the name, was off with god knows who, god knows where. I don't' know how dad kept soldering on after mom's affair without breaking down.

Luckily, Komachi was way too young to remember those harsh times, and never really had much interaction with our demon of a mother ever since, and her outlook on life, had much more hope than what either I myself, or our dad could ever hope to muster. I held no intricate fancies of grandiose dreams that run rampant among the masses. There has only ever been one instance in the chronology of my existence that I've ever slipped up in regards to my ideology on life.

I was in middle school back then, still naïve, still a hopeful, and a lonesome wholesome fool. People tended to stay away from me, due to my dead fish eyes; can't say I really blame them though, when even my own mother detested those very same eyes. Those who didn't get scared off, tended to do what man-kind is compelled to do when encountering anything which does not satisfy their definition of normal; Hate. I was different, the social outcast (at the time, not by choice) and the freak. I got bullied, but nowhere nearly as bad as this one kid, Zaimokuza. The difference between me and him was, that bullies tended to get bored with me when they couldn't get any reactions out of me, but Zaimokuza would fight back. Well, at least try to, and this made him much more of an appealing target to their sadistic nature than me or some of the other outcasts. Up till now, life really hadn't given me a reason to keep my hopes up, about anything really, but I guess, in the grand scheme of things, these events were meant to facilitate the passage to being the man I am today. Kaori Orimoto, just hastened the process.

With a perm, bob cut curly brown hair, rosy cheeks, and quite frankly the prettiest face a girl in middle school could ever hope to muster. She wasn't someone who people would associate with interacting with the maggots of the social hierarchy, but for some reason, which I now assume to be pity, she did. She was the only person who never looked at me in disgust like the others, the only person who didn't judge me, she was perhaps the only person who I thought of as a friend, and I guess that ended up being the reason why I more or less set myself up to crash and burn. Like most adolescents, I too was not immune to the throes of the hormone induced state of love. I had been contemplating for quite some time how to go about telling Kaori how I felt about her. Fate granted me the perfect opportunity to, as they say, enlighten myself, when I got called out to lunch by her. Like a true fool, wearing my heart on my sleeve, I decided to use this opportunity to confess.

"Please be nice to him", "It'll be fine Kaori, what's the worst that could really ever happen? All we're going to do is have a little _fun_ with him". Kaori looked uncertain about the whole idea about integrating Hikigaya with her _friends,_ but with a little coaxing and promises, was adamant that she was doing the right thing here. Hikigaya need more friends, and she would be the one to facilitate him across that channel. It was all for his good. They say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, little do they know, it's not always the carver that peers into hell.

I was nervous. My legs were more or less trembling. I was sweating profusely. Is this called love? We exchanged pleasantries, as was the norm between us. "Kaori could you come with me for a sec, there was something I wanted to talk to you about", I asked, barely managing to keep my composure. She looked a little puzzled but none the less, accepted my request. "So what is this about Hikigaya?" she gazed at me inquisitively. I looked at the floor, all grand plans, eluding me. Why do you do this to me Brain. God damn it. "It's because you listen to our heart you nitwit". I was broken out of my internal reverie by Orimoto calling me out. "Hikigaya?". I decided, that it was now or never; it was time to man up before losing my nerve "Kaori-san, will you please go out with me ?" I asked, waiting for a reply with my head bowed. A few moments, which felt like an eternity passed. The damning silence was broken by her giggle. The giggle slowly ascended the steps to outright full blown unadulterated laughter. "Hilarious Hikigaya!" "Look the creep confessed to Orimoto. This is pure gold. Who'd have thought the creep was into you Kaori". I suddenly raised my head up, to only be met with faces of my tormenter. Howling away at my expense, I hadn't realized they were so close by.

I did the only logical thing a person could really do; I bolted. I ran, like I had never ran before. It didn't matter if I was cutting class, I needed to get out of there. I needed to think. I needed to be alone to sort this out. I made it home in record time, and was met with the gaze of a puzzled Kamakura lounging on the sofa. I ignored the second most important member of the Hikigaya household and shuffled up to my room. Jumped on my bed with face down, feeling horrible. I felt sick to my stomach. I physically felt the pangs tormenting my heart. Realization dawned on me; Kaori had pretty much rejected me. It didn't even matter to me, that there was an audience to witness my demise. Heck, she treated me as if I were a joke. If my feelings were a god damn joke. I felt as if I was repeatedly being punched in the gut. As I laid there lamenting, I hadn't realized that Kamakura had made his way to me and had now begun to purr against me. "You're hungry aren't you"

I hadn't talked to Orimoto-san since then either. I had decided to avoid her. Mostly because I couldn't really face her anymore after that day, and partially because it would just make my life more hell if I even tried. I had blocked her from my already scarce social media and never gave her , if she was trying, and myself the opportunity in real life. The following days were filled with ridicule and bullying. While my bullying was not on an ultra-grand scale before, ever since the confession, I was more or less public enemy number one for many. Someone had defaced and wrecked my locker, and all of my paraphernalia within. The name calling grew. I even got beat up a couple of times by the jocks , for "Not knowing my place", but the teachers just ignored it. As long as the jocks did good in sports, they could get away with anything short of murder.

What's the point of life anyways huh? Nothing ever works out for me. Nothing has ever worked out for me. No matter what I do, all I get at the end of the day is hurt. I wasn't rational, just heavily plagued by the plethora of negativity in my life. I didn't know how to cope with it. There just didn't seem to be a point where I could catch a break. Each day my strength waned, and little by little and I edged towards the end. The thoughts about ending my misery felt out right euphoric. There's no hope. No reason for elevating my suffering. Consequently, I had made up my mind. I didn't bother with a note, no one was going to miss me anyways. I had the pills ready. "This is it huh?" I said out loud to no one in particular. I brought the pills to my lips, and heard knocking before the door opened. I managed to quickly hide the pills under the covers. It wouldn't do to have Komachi walk in on me while I was withering away.

"Ni San what did you do?" she looked at me like I had robbed a bank or something. Hey, I'm not that bad you know. "There's this cute onee-san who wanted to see you. " Cute onee-san? No, can't be. "You can come in Orimoto-san, Ni-san's dressed." Wait. What? Don't I have some say in this? This is my room god damn it. "Hey Hikigaya" she says in tone, not quite like what I remembered. Komachi just winked at me and meandered away. I just gave her a blank look. I was not in the mood for this. "I tried calling and texting you, but you never picked up and you were avoiding me in school too. I convinced sensei to give your address. I came to apolo-" , "Don't bother. I'm sorry for what I did. I assumed too much", I cut her off, trying to dissuade her attempt at whatever angle she was playing. "No" she retorted without pause. "Listen Hikigaya, I never thought it would turn out as bad as this. I didn't know how else to react when you dropped that bomb shell on me. I had planned to introduce you to my friends and…", I lifted up my shirt a little, to be met by her horrified expression. "You mean the same friends that did this to me" I let out in disdain. "Oh my god Hikigaya!" she let out. For some reason she had assumed that hugging bruised parts of the human body would result in comfort. "I'm so sorry. I'm am so sorry" she let out, repetitively. I've never dealt with such a situation before, I didn't know what to do, except mask the growing ache as she held on to me. My shirt was becoming wet. Sniffling? Tears? She was crying! "Orimoto-san, it's alright" I let out softly. "It's not okay. This was never supposed to happen. I never even realized. Oh my god. I can't believe that would do something like this ", she let out, partially sobbing.

"Orimoto-san, it'll be fine." It won't last much longer either. "No, I need to make this right." She said resolutely, after finally breaking the hug, which I realize was more for her sake than for mine. "I'll talk to them, I'll figure something out" she continued. "Don't. Just stop it" I intervened. "The more you interfere, the worse it gets for me. Please just leave me alone.", "But you're my friend, I can't just do nothing" she argued. "I'm sorry Orimoto-san, I think it would be best that from this point onwards, we went our separate ways".


	2. Chapter 2: Falling In The Dark

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All rights are retained by the original creators. This is a non-profit work.

Recommended **Music:** You Found me **~The Fray~** and You Won't See Me Tonight Part one and two **~Avenged Sevenfold~**

 **AN:** Medical terms and situations are a work of fiction, and I repeat should not be used to make appropriations in reality.

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Falling in the Dark**

She just looked at me, but I was unable to truly meet her gaze. The illogical part of me held nothing but scorn for her right now, but deep inside I knew. It wasn't anybody's fault, but my own. Unable to really say anything, Orimoto had her head hung low, the marks left by the dried up tears still visible.

"Hikigaya" she softly let out my name, head still hung low.

"I promise you. Even if you don't want to be my friend" she paused for a moment.

"Even if you don't want anything to do to with me anymore, I'm still gonna try", she announced with her head raised up now, looking straight into my eyes.

I wanted to refute her claim. Call her a hypocrite for not intervening before, when she could have. Blame all my growing problems on her, but I didn't. Some part of me still hoped. It wanted me to believe in Orimoto. The part of me that I resented. The part of me that I wanted to kill off. The irrational part of me, that still held some feelings for her. Despite these conflicting emotions raging inside of me, I would not waver. Hope was the first step to disappointment in my life. Making mistakes in life is fine, as long as you learn from them, but making the same mistakes twice, just means that the person is, quite simply put, a fool. Life would not make a fool out of me again. At least, that's what I thought at the time.

"Orimoto-san.", I began.

"Don't bother. This whole thing blew out of proportion, because of my mistake, and misguided expectations, not because of anything you might have had to do with it. At some point or another, what I did would have gotten out, and even if it didn't", I paused for a second to catch my breath.

"And even if it didn't get out, they would have found some other reason to bash my skull in" I continued in a tone, neither harsh nor weak, but neither devoid of any emotion as I had originally intended.

"And be honest with me here, you were going to reject me anyways" I added as an afterthought.

"It's just better for both of us, if you just walk away, and pretend like we never met."

She did not refute my speculations about her supposed response to the confession, but she still stood there, almost as if to show defiance.

"I don't know what's going through your head right now, and I'm not going to assume that I understand what you're going through, but hear me out Hikigaya.", she paused and looked at me meaningfully.

"I'm going to prove it to you, that I really am your friend and that I really do care and-"

"Save it. I don't need your pity anymore" I cut her off, my temper slowly rising. "Why can't you just please leave me alone? ? ", "Is that really too much to ask for?", I continued.

"I don't believe we were ever really friends, and even if for some reason we did fall under that category, we're not anymore. So get that through your head, and just go. Please"

The hurt was explicitly tangible on her face. Her eyes spoke more, more than I wished to know. I was being an ass. She didn't deserve this, not when she was only trying to help. She apologized, even when she didn't need to. I felt worse off than before. She slowly turned around and walked away. I could still hear her sniffling in the dead silence left in our wake. My rationale concluded, that the storm of negative emotions brewing within me, only justified what I had originally intended to do. It was time, the moment of truth. Do and die, as they say.

I grasped the pills in my hand again, after making sure that Orimoto was gone. I looked at the Zolpidem pills in my hand. I had managed to convince Dad to get me these sleeping pills, citing insomnia as the cause. It wasn't like it was the first time I used them. I recall using them on multiple occasions, citing the same cause. So dad wasn't too worried about getting them to me. I looked out of the window, at the sky.

"I know I don't really deserve heaven. I know that this makes me a quitter, but life never really dealt me a fair hand, to begin with. I didn't ask for any of this. I never had a choice. So here's to hoping, that maybe you could make an exception for me"

With a final sigh, I grabbed the bunch of pills and downed them in one go. I was in a daze. I only realized I was crying and had only realized that after my shirt began puddle up. I felt afraid. I didn't know what was going to happen to me. The true reality of what I had set out to do dawned on me. I had slowly begun to lose cognitive reasoning. I was becoming dizzy. I had lost my balance and had fallen on the floor. An intense pain was brewing within me. I was slowly losing consciousness. The last thing I really remember is the rays of the sunlight pouring in, and just how beautiful they looked.

Well, it's almost about time for lunch, I guess I'll make the curry Oni-san love's so much. I bet that will earn me a lot of points!. I heard yelling. I've never heard Oni-san yell before, especially not at a girl. I wonder what happened that got him so riled up. I had gotten up to prepare some food and saw the pretty onee-chan scramble out of the house. She looked really upset. Was she crying? Geez, Oni-san. What did you do? I bet it's all your fault. Stupid Henchman, no curry for you.

I wanted to go upstairs and see what had happened to Oni-san, but I felt as if it wouldn't really be such a good idea. Probably best to let him cool down, from whatever had happened. I was done making lunch (sandwiches) and yelled for Oni-san to come down. No reply. Strange. Usually, he would intuitively come down himself, saying something about how it was part of his skill set to know whenever the food was ready. Stupid Oni-san, I thought while shaking my head and upstairs to check on him and find out what had happened. Oni-san was on the ground. I attributed it to him being lazy, as usual. I called out to him, but he wasn't responding. I felt like he was purposely ignoring me. I got close to him and realized he was unconscious. Vomit hung loosely out of his mouth. Bile suddenly developed and constricted my throat.

"No. No. Ni-san" Komachi let out, in panic. "Come on Oni-san, this isn't funny anymore. Please wake up" she tried in vain, hoping to get him up. "This can't be happening. No. I need to do something.".

Tears had begun to mar Komachi's youthful persona. She called 120* and explained the situation to the person on the line, as best as she could, her voice cracking throughout. The official on the line tried to calm her down, and assured her that help was on the way and that her brother would be all right, but how could he have possibly calmed her down. For Komachi, it was as if her brother was dying right in front of her. She was not even willing to qualify the circumstance in which her Oni-san could have been dead already, and she felt as if she was completely unable to do anything to help him, even with the emergency services official guiding her through the steps she should take to ensure her brother's survival.

Every second felt like a prolonged death sentence to Komachi. The clock's ticking, was never as glaringly blatant, as It was right now. She was still on the line with the operator, and after what felt like a living hell to Komachi, help was finally here. The operator told her, that the paramedics were outside and she hadn't needed to be told twice.

The paramedics loaded Hikigaya on the stretcher and rushed him away. One of them stayed back with Komachi. She had already seen, what no little sister should ever have to see. Their father was informed after the paramedic was able to coax the information out of the dazed Komachi. Their father was away on a business trip and the nearest flight back was a day away. The other emergency contact they had listed was their mother, but no one really picked up…

"Where am I?" I said out loud, to no one in particular. I can't see anything at all. It's just so dark. This doesn't feel like hell, and this sure as hell doesn't look like heaven either. Is this how it all ends? They throw you in a dark room and leave you to rot in solitary confinement? Can I at least have some Max Coffee? Guess not.

"Hello Hachiman" A voice resonated, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"Who is this? Where Am I ?" I asked, looking around trying to find the source.

"I'm you Hachiman." The voice responded, and right before my eyes, was a near carbon copy of myself, staring straight into my eyes. Though, he didn't seem to possess the dead fish eyes I had.

"You must be wondering why I don't have the same eyes as you. Well to answer your question, I'm you, just the version of you, you wished you could be." He answered, while not displaying much emotion, except the small smile adorning my face. I mean his face.

"And where am I", I asked, slightly perturbed by talking to myself.

"We're in your head Me-kun" He replied, taking on a cheery tune. "And no before you ask, you're not dead" he answered my question before I even asked. Either he's really good at guessing, or I'm assuming that we sharing the same mind. He smiled in response to my thoughts.

"How things move along from this point, I can't really say Me-kun" he continued.

Meanwhile, they rushed through the hospital corridors. A plethora of medical staff looming over the unconscious body of the slowly dying boy, trying to figure out what had happened. His vitals were weak but had begun to rapidly fall. They were forced to resort to an Intracardiac injection*.

Suddenly, the darkness began to rapidly fade away. I felt as if I was hit by a car while trying to save a stupid dog named sable.

"Oh God! Make It Stop!" I cried out in pain.

My originally blurred vision was coming back, and I realized I was surrounded by a group of people. As I slowly grasped at my bearings, I realized that I was surrounded by doctors. It wasn't supposed to work like this. It was supposed to end. Even the darkness was better than this unbearable pain. My vision was blurring, but I was unable to lose consciousness. I felt like I was in a daze, the pain slowly numbing, but not truly going away. I felt like I was about to lose consciousness again. I could almost feel the tension in the room.

"We're losing him again" yelled someone in blue scrubs, presumably the surgeon.

"No" It suddenly hit me. The gravity of what I had done had just hit me. "Komachi" I tried to say. I can't leave Komachi alone like this. I can't believe I almost did to her, what mom did to us. I mustered up my courage. The urge to give up right now and let it truly end was inexplicably unbearable, but I couldn't leave Komachi alone. It was becoming harder and harder to hold on…

"Hey mister, will Oni-san be alright? Heis gonna be alright? right? This is just a big joke right?" Komachi let out. The effects of the emotional duress visible. The paramedic assigned to Komachi was at an impasse. Right now the situation could go either way, but he couldn't really tell her that.

"It'll all work out. You just gotta believe in your Oni-chan to pull through." Said the paramedic, hoping beyond hope that what he said wasn't just an empty promise.

* * *

*120 = 911 in Japan.

* Intracardiac injection = Think of it as a jump starter for humans.

* * *

 **AN:** I received an overwhelming response on the first chapter. I would like to thank all of you for reading and reviewing and hope you guys stick around for the ride.

Shout out to Awesomenes11!

Now to address some questions:

 **Q1. Will you finish this story or not?**

Ans. As long as there's still one person out there who reads this, I won't drop this under any circumstance.

 **Q2. Update Schedule.**

ans. I can dish out 5-6k chapters, if I work on a weekly basis (plus minus two days, owing to unforeseen circumstances), or I can maintain the length I have for relatively faster updates. Let me know what you guys think I should go for (they're both convenient to me in their own way)


	3. Chapter 3: Wake Me Up

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All rights are retained by the original creators. This is a non-profit work.

Recommended **Music:** Time is running out **~Papa Roach~** and Never Surrender **~Skillet~**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Wake Me Up**

They say hospitals make believers out of atheists. Prayers reverberate in the hall. An open request for a miracle. The Hikigaya family at this point, more than anything else, needed a miracle.

Tick Tock. Tick Tock. The ticking resonated within the anxious confines of the observation room, coupled with the murmurs of doctors and surgeons. Mr. Hikigaya could be seen anxiously pacing back and forth. The man himself looked as if he needed medical attention. Unkempt hair, a noticeable stubble, clothes wrinkled beyond perception the and enough anxiety to put a constrictor to shame. Komachi, on the other hand, was unable to peer away from the observation window and after being collected by Mr. Hikigaya when he scrambled back to Chiba, she was unwilling to let her family get out of her sight. Suffice to say, the tension in the room was palpable.

Hikigaya Hachiman had faded out of consciousness, but not yet out of existence. After extensively looking over Hachiman's medical records, and heavily questioning Mr. Hikigaya about any possible drugs Hachiman might have taken, as well as some medical screenings, the doctor's had managed to stabilize him, via a mixture of gastric pumping and administering drugs to counter the overdose. While his life was in no immediate danger, he had not woken up since his descent into darkness.

"That stupid inconsiderate jerk" I mumbled out as I made my way back. All I wanted to do was help you Hikigaya…

I felt like shit. Even with everything he went through, the way he reacted was saintly. I have no right to feel like this. I was supposed to be his friend, yet I missed everything he was going through? In hindsight, with each passing second, it made more sense why he reacted the way he did...

Stupid Kaori. How are you supposed to help him, when you can't even stop crying? I wiped away the tears. My face felt really sticky right now. I couldn't wait to get home.

"Boy troubles?"

"Huh?" I responded dumbly.

I looked around to see an old oba-san, dressed in an old overcoat, which was quite apt for the season. She was lounging on one of the benches I was heading towards at the subway, smiling at me in a way only old people could.

"Boy trouble?" she inquired.

"Not quite" I retorted, as I approached her.

"Wanna talk about it?" she offered.

I quickly glanced at the terminal to see that the train was quite a while away. I sat down next to her, wondering if I should really be sharing my problems with a random stranger, but my gut told me that it was alright to go for it. I rationalized it was okay based on that, as well as the fact that I really needed someone to talk to.

So there I was, pouring my heart out to a complete and utter stranger, who to her credit, listened to the whole ordeal quite patiently. I had felt much better after narrating the whole affair. I felt a little lighter than before. That's the only way I can really describe it. The oba-san, on the other hand, had gotten this bittersweet look into her eyes for a split second, but it faded as quickly as it had come.

"He's hurting you know" She began, with the same gentle tone as before.

"and we may not realize it at first, but we all need a friend when we're hurting, even him, rather especially him. He doesn't have much reason to believe in something like friendship, but deep down, like everyone else, it's what he's yearning for" she continued, somewhat melancholically.

"But oba-san I tried, and he pushed me away" I countered.

She smiled, with the same melancholic visage.

"Young lady, you need to figure out why you wanna be his friend." she replied.

The intercom rang. The train was here. I had to go now. I quickly nodded to the oba-san, thanked her for listening and went on my way. From the corner of my eye, I could see that oba-san looked up at the sky and sighed, like if she had lost something. I had much to think about though, I thought as I boarded the train.

Why do I really wanna be his friend?

The darkness was constricting. For a while, I had lost all sense of being. It felt as if I were suddenly jolted back into reality, but all I could perceive was pure and utter darkness. I tried to get my bearings, and decipher my current predicament. Think Hachiman. What's the last thing you did?

I could vaguely remember feeling extremely uncomfortable, but could not recall anything beyond that, and that didn't really tell me anything.

"Hello again me-kun !" a voice reverberated throughout, well, where ever the hell I was.

Wait a second. I've heard this voice before.

"Oh No" I spoke out loud, as it suddenly dawned on me.

This can't be happening. I had gotten out of this place. Why am I back here again?

"It's because you need to make up your mind" he replied eerily, much like before, as he was slowly becoming tangible from whatever metaphysical domain he inhibited, with a tinge of light populating the parameter of his being. This allowed to clearly make him out in the harrowing dark.

This time though, I scrutinized him more keenly. He looked the same as last time. No dead-fish eyes, or the slight slump I'm famous (read infamous) for. His hair was also quite tame and fuller in comparison to mine. He was wearing my regular uniform, which much like everything else was much more He looked… He looked much better than I did. He looked like a regular guy, except the spooky glow thingy that was prevalent in this landscape, but I digress.

"Me-kun" he began.

"I represent you. Your ideals. Your regrets. I'm just a mirror, who reflects what you've tried so hard to suppress ." he continued, as I gasped.

"We're currently in our subs consciousness right now." He said as he began to walk around, without a clear goal or destination in mind.

"Last time you were here, I said that things were out of our hands, but this time" he paused for a second as if to deliberate what to say.

"But this time, whatever happens, is all on us Me-kun" he stopped his pacing as he said those words.

I just stood there, slowly taking in everything he said and tried to decipher what it all meant. Could I get out of here? Did I have a choice in the grand scheme of things? I thought I had already made my choice when I decided to go back. So why am I back here again? I remember seeing Komachi. I remember struggling so hard. So why?

"Me-kun. What you need to realize is that… Well, let me put it this way. If you really felt so deeply about Komachi-chan, why did you decide to go through with it in the first place? Why didn't that stop you before? He presented, looking straight into my eyes.

I could not answer that. Not because I didn't want to answer that because I really couldn't. Why? Why did I go through with what I did? I wanted to get away from all the pain and whatever tragedy my life was continuing to contort into.

No. I realized. The real question right now was, "Do I really want to go back?"

"You can choose to move forward and get out of here, or you can choose to stay in here, and at some point, when the outside world truly gives up on you, accomplish your original goal." He said, seeming to have sat down, and moved his feet about, as if he were resting beside a pond.

"What do I even have for me when I go back?" I thought out loud.

"I can't even kill myself properly, let alone do anything useful. I'm a fucking mistake." I lamented.

"Mom didn't want me. Dad isn't even really living anymore. I'm sure he'll have an easier time with just Komachi there, and in the long run, dad spending more time with Komachi would be just what she needs. It'll all work out perfectly." I rambled on.

But is that what I genuinely desire? I thought.

"Do I really just wanna die?" I wondered. What would happen next? Do I go to heaven or hell? Rather, is there even something like an afterlife? " I wondered.

All I was surrounded by, was darkness and felt as if there were no solution to my conundrum.

"The darkness represents how you feel Me-kun. What you see, is what you truly feel, but it wasn't always like this.." he let out, occupying the same position as before.

No. No, it wasn't. I thought, as the darkness slowly receded, and the atmosphere and ambiance came to life. I could feel a like breeze, the sound of some animals, and a sense of being. I could see my mental persona sit idly by the pond, waving his legs around In the water, seemingly lost in thought.

"Remember this place?" he asked as he turned his face towards me, but I was awestruck, unable to answer him.

I did remember this place.

"Hachi-kun" I heard. No one had called me since… No, it couldn't be I gasped.

"Grandpa ?"

But it all made sense now. This place, grandpa, it all fit. I turned around, towards the direction of the voice to see a little boy, with the same slump I had, in the same position my persona was in.

"What happened?" grandpa, asked my younger self.

"They made fun of me again" my younger self sniffled.

"Two of the boys even hit me and made me get out of there" my younger self continued.

Grandpa said nothing. He sat down next to younger me, and put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him in. Younger me, just continued to cry, now without any restraint. Grandpa tried his best to comfort me, and sat there, till my younger self was able to get it out of his system.

"It isn't fair he continued. First mom, now everyone else…" younger me cried out. Grandpa looked absolutely distraught.

"Hachi-kun" he began, "Life isn't kind. People will hate you, people will hurt you in ways you can't even comprehend, but Hachi-kun" he paused for effect. "Life isn't unfair. You will fall down, you will get hurt, but you know what? You can pick yourself back up. There's nobody in the world like you. Always remember that." He continued.

"Life isn't easy Hachi-kun, but it's worth it"

I felt a wave of comfort wash over along with the nostalgia, and as the scene faded away before me. Maybe if Grandpa was still alive today, things might have never gotten to this point.

I turned towards my persona.

"How do I get out of here?"

"Hikigaya Hachiman !"

Sensei called out, but no one answered. He didn't show up today either. His seat's been vacant ever since the day I visited him. No one else seemed to really take notice, or even show some loose form of curiosity throughout the day, and things went on as usual into last period. My head was still trying to loop around the question Oba-san left me with.

Why do I wanna be his friend?

He said I pitied him. Is that really why? I mean sure, I felt bad for him being all by himself and left out, but that doesn't mean I looked down on him or pitied him. Does it? Do I just wanna make amends with him, so I can stop feeling guilty? Oh god, Hikigaya, why does it have to be so complicated with you...

My musings were interrupted, by the annoying but ever savory ringing of the bell.

"Orimoto-san"

Sensei called out to me before I had left.

"Yes, Sensei?" I looked at her quizzically. I don't recall doing something that would warrant me being in trouble.

"Orimoto-san, you were the only person I saw Hikigaya-san interact with, so I feel like you should know what has happened," Sensei said, with a forlorn look on his face.

"Hikigaya-san is in a coma and is at Chiba Hospital right now"

The color drained from my face, and my heart beat became erratic.

"What happened to him Sensei?" I timidly asked.

"They say he tried to commit suicide and overdosed," Sensei replied, the guilt clearly showing on his face.

My breath hitched as I heard her say that.

"They said that he…."

"Mr. Hikigaya, we've done everything we could. Whatever happens now, it's all on him now." The Doctor said, to the exhausted parent.

"Dad" Komachi called out.

"It's gonna work out" she assured him as her firm grip on his hand tightened.

Mr. Hikigaya just returned her gesture and wished for nothing more than this nightmare to end.

My persona turned around and smiled at me. Though, there were evident changes this time. No longer did he have that neat disposition. The clothes were not quite disheveled, but messy enough to match my style. The slump was back. The infamous Hikigaya cowlick was back. To top it all off, my dead fish eyes were back.

"Let's go home"

I started to fade out again. I can find no other words to describe my descent. Time is a relative quantity, and that theory held true here. I had no idea how long I was out for. I had no idea how I transitioned in and out of reality. Much like those times, I had no idea how long it took me to wake up. What I did know was, that I felt out of it. I didn't flat out feel pain, but a numbing specter haunted my body.

"HE"S UP!" I heard Komachi yell, and before I knew it, she had jumped me.

"Stupid, idiot Oni-chan" she let out, as she cried into my chest.

"You Hachiman" she continued her entourage of insults, using my name as an insult. Oh Komachi…

While I wasn't feeling too much pain before, Komachi's jump-hug blew all the air right out of me, and suffice to say, I felt that. I felt that a lot.

I managed to put my arms around her and hugged her as hard as I could. I felt something wet. I assumed it was Komachi's tears, but once I felt that my face was wet.

"I'm sorry Komachi-chan" I tried to say but cried mid-delivery.

"Hachiman !" I heard my old man's voice call out as he approached us along with the doctors.

"Son"

That's all he said, as our eyes met. We exchanged words only a father and son could like this. Komachi wouldn't let me go, so the doctor worked with her hanging on to me and a did some tests and was spewing some medical jargon to his peers.

"Hachiman-san" the doctor said my name while going over the various medical instruments.

"You are very lucky to be alive right now, and it would seem that providence was smiling upon you today, as you get to walk away with almost no harm done. We were able to save all of your organs and you should be able to make a complete recovery in a couple of days, but we're required to make you see a therapist, and you will be required to come see till he clears you"

I just nodded at him dumbly.

Things calmed down for a bit after back. Dad and Komachi-chan had gone home for the night, and I was told that I would be let out in a couple of days after my first psyche evaluation, whatever that is. They had moved me to some other ward, but for the most part, things would turn out fine, except the fact that I don't know how I'm going to have a conversation about this with my family when I do get back. I was not looking forward to that conversation, but I'll worry about it when I get there.

The fact that I was still alive, awed me. The fact that I found closure from this whole ordeal astounded me. I realize that the chance that I've been given… Not everybody gets that chance. I need to fight. I need to struggle, to find that genuine thing. Grandpa, I wish you were still here, but I promised you: This time, I won't give up.

With these thoughts in mind, I was able to blissfully transcend into sleep, and for once, after a long time, my dreams were without darkness.

I quickly bowed to sensei and after calling back home and letting them know I was gonna be a little late, rushed to the hospital. Hikigaya. Was all I was able to conjure up. I wanted to see him. No. I thought. I needed to see him. The guilt I felt regarding Hikigaya was beating away at my heart. It felt like things wouldn't go as fast as I had wanted them to. The bus felt too slow. The walk to the hospital felt too slow, and right now, it felt as if time itself had stopped as I went inside.

After a quick exchange with the receptionist, I was on my way to the room Hikigaya was in.

Room 08.

I peered at the room. I gulped and braced myself for whatever the hell was going to happen after this. I realized I was slightly trembling.

"Okay, Kaori," I said out loud to myself.

"You can do this"

"No, you need to do this", I tried to convince myself.

I pushed the door and went inside….

I felt a little sore since I had woken up, but all in all felt much better. I stood up to find a set of clothes with a note attached to it.

"Hello Oni-chan, they said they would let you out tonight. So we left some clothes for you, since well, we didn't think you'd wanna walk around half naked in scrubs. Tehe. We'll come for you tonight! Good luck with the therapist !"

Well, guess today's the day huh. I decided to change to get changed in my room since I didn't feel like walking all the way to the bathroom. Hey, just because I had come back from a life-changing journey, doesn't mean I'm still not lazy. With those thoughts going through my head, I decided to get changed. I was still changing, but fully in the nude right now, as I heard the door open…

"HIKIGAYA !"

"ORIMOTO !"

* * *

 **AN 1:** First of all, I would like to thank you all for the reviews and follows. It's been less than a week, but the response has been overwhelmingly positive. Again, thank you for reading, and taking time out to review. I really mean a lot to me.  
Also, after thinking about it over the weekend, and seeing what was comfortable for me, I've decided to go with weekly updates, every Sunday. Chapter's will be at least 3k in length or more. Though it's just a loose idea of how much I want to introduce per chapter and what works for me.

* * *

 **** **Pseudo Spoiler AN** **2:** Now I realize I may have been a little abstract in a lot of places. The person, "persona" i.e. the dude who looked like Hachiman in his subconscious was him. It represented a contrast with what Hachiman was unwilling to accept, and what he really was. He wasn't the person he saw, but he wanted to be him, and as this chapter progresses, you notice how he makes peace with his flaws. This change is represented by how "when he turns around" he looks like what Hachiman actually looks like.

As for questions like "Will we see a lot of inner Hachiman" (I'll probably introduce that concept at some point instead of calling him "persona"). He will make more appearances, but I won't probably use him as a recurring thing i.e. sparingly.

* * *

 **Pseudo Spoiler AN 3:** These sorta scenes are definitely not my forte. I really didn't intend to take this direction, but it made sense, but this was a necessary evil to set up the base for what's gonna come. As the name of this story implies, things get better (and a lot more fun for me to write !). So, things are gonna get much brighter soon. Stay tuned ladies and gents, and have a good one!


	4. Chapter 4: I'll Be There For You

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All rights are retained by the original creators. This is a non-profit work.

Recommended **Music:** Ode to Joy **~Beethoven~** and I'll Be There For You **~Bonjovi~**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: I'll Be There For You**

They say, that there's always a reason behind certain events. How the stars align and the universe conspires to make sure that they happen. How everything leading up to that point is specifically carved to craft that event. As they say, the gods themselves intervene to make sure that they come to pass.

Screw said, gods.

I scrambled for the sheets and managed to cover myself up. God that sounds wrong. Consequently, she had averted her face. Unfortunately though, gauging from the expression adorning Orimoto's face, the damage was already done. Depending on how this next exchange would go out, I may or may not need the services of Inner Hachiman again.

Isn't it usually the guy that gets to see the girl naked?[1]

We were both blushing like decked out marionettes, though ruefully, some cruel entity was pulling the strings. The beeping of the various medical implements in the room just served to feed the elephant in the room. For a while, we both kept our silence, unable to really come up with anything really.

"So Orimoto-san, could you like leave ?" I requested, breaking the silence.

She snapped out of her reverie and turned her attention to me and got an indignant look on her face, devoid of the red taint it bore before.

"You're not getting rid of me so easily" she let out resolutely.

"Umm," I began.

"I think it would be more comfortable for both of us if I were dressed and not confined to a blanket"

It suddenly hit her, and the red returned with a vengeance. She spluttered something indecipherable before scrambling outside.

I let out a deep sigh, before getting back to the task at hand. Troublesome.[2]

"You can come back in in" I proclaimed, after getting dressed.

She reentered the room, while nervously tugging at her shirt, though she looked much more composed than before. This time around, I visibly felt a change in the atmosphere of the room. The elephant in the room had gotten its dues, and now it was time to get the show on the road, for lack of a better phrase.

"Hikigaya, we need to talk," she said, with a serious expression on her face.

I already had somewhat of an idea of what she was here about. I'm guessing the news about what yours truly did get around. Though I would have originally chalked it up to pity, I was unable to ignore the earnestness resonating from her. This time, I would hear her out. I owed her that much if nothing else.

"Yeah, I guess we do. Grab a seat." I responded, taking the space on the bed.

She looked a little surprised. I guess she wasn't expecting me to give in so easily, but regardless grabbed the chair closest to me and sat down, and took a deep breath before continuing.

* * *

"Hikigaya, how do ya feel now," I asked, starting off with something simple, to make this whole thing a little easier.

He sighed.

"I'm still a little sore around my stomach, but I'm feeling pretty good for the most part." He replied.

"Though I gotta say, that was one of the longest naps I was able to get away with" he added jokingly.

"It's not funny " I retorted to his attempt at humor, thought mentally rebuking myself for sounding so harsh.

He looked calm none the less and scratched his head.

"I really don't know how to approach this." He began.

"To put it simply, I had some issues" he paused for a second.

"and I got over them " he finished.

"Hikigaya, I'm sorry it got to that point" I let out, trying to hold in the incoming tears. I've always bad with emotional stuff, and this situation as a whole just took the cake.

"And will you please just listen to me this time?" I requested, promptly shutting down whatever he had opened his mouth.

He just sighed and nodded at me to continue.

"Throughout the time I've known you, I had never realized you were being treated like you were."

"I'm sorry" I reiterated, this time bowing my head.

"And I realize I don't deserve to be called your friend, but I want you to give me a chance" I let out, raising my head.

He looked perplexed.

"Why do you try so hard?" he inquired.

Why did I try so hard?

Why did I want to be his friend so badly?

Be Spontaneous for once Kaori!

"It's because I want to Hikigaya. I don't know how to put it in words" I let out, deciding to say whatever was in my heart, instead of mulling over it.

"and I assure you, it's not because I pity you" I added quickly, as if not to spiral back into one of the core aspects of his original argument.

He sat there contemplating my request. He had this new aura around him that I couldn't quite explain. He was still the same person as before. Same slouch. Same dead fish eyes. Just, he wasn't quiet really the same person. He looked more calm and centered. He had this grace to him, he didn't have before. H I just couldn't really explain it.

* * *

She was looking at me expectantly. This really was a conundrum. I had originally intended to start off with a clean slate i.e. bide my time until graduation, and stay away from people, and if I had to name a list of people to avoid, undoubtedly, Orimoto's name would be on top of the list. There were a thousand voices, debating with me within, to tear her proposal apart, but there was this once voice, that silenced all the others. My own.

"Hi, my name is Hikigaya Hachiman"

She looked confused for a couple of moments before she realized what I was trying to do. A smile brewed on her face, and whatever tension that was residing there before was slowly dissipating.

"Hi Hikigaya, my name is Orimoto Kaori !" she jovially responded to my gesture.

Though I had accepted her proposal, I had made one fact clear to myself. There would be no misunderstandings. There would be no falling in love. No. Hachiman 2.0 would not make the same mistakes as the dunderhead known as Hachiman 1.0. The fact was, while I was willing to "renew" our friendship, I had no expectations of it lasting past graduation later down this year. Just a couple of months to go…

"So Hikigaya, now what?" she inquired.

"When are they gonna let you out of here?" she added.

"Well, I need to see the hospital therapist in a bit, before I can leave, after that, though, I'm not really too sure" I responded while looking at the clock. According to the footnote on Komachi's note, I still had an hour left.

She was silent for a bit as if contemplating my words. Yes, while I was acting cheery, and was to an extent, happy, it wouldn't do to forget that I did try to kill myself. Talking about the therapist just made everything much more real.

"So when do you think you'll be able to come back to school?" she piped up.

"I'm not sure" I reiterated.

"But I'm guessing sometime during the middle of next week"

Her face lost some of its brightness at that but for the most part, she was still chipper.

"Orimoto-san, who told you about this?" I asked, hoping that news didn't spread too far.

"Sensei knew, and as far as I know, I'm the only one that knows besides her" she replied.

"And can you please drop the honorifics Hikigaya" she added, seemingly a little annoyed.

"Sure Orimoto-san" I replied, making her just shake her head in disapproval.

"You know" she began meekly.

"There are gonna be questions when you get back. Have you thought a little about what you're gonna do?" she asked, with a tinge of anxiety laced in her words.

"Honestly Orimoto, I have no idea, I'll deal with whatever comes my way, that's all I can really do" I responded, resolutely.

We talked for a little while longer, about this and that. It honestly felt nice talking to someone so easily after such a long time. Plus, it didn't hurt that I was talking to a cute girl. Nope. Not at all.

We heard some knocking on the door, before a long haired brunette, wearing a lab coat came into the room. She looked like she was in her mid-twenties.

"Hikigaya Hachiman I presume?"

I nodded at her, while Orimoto introduced herself.

I'm Dr. Suzuki Yumi, but you can just call me Yumi" the brunette offered.

Orimoto glanced at the clock, and her eyes went wide for second.

"I didn't realize it had been so long already, I need to get going to Hikigaya," she said, as she grabbed her bag, stood up and walked towards the door.

"Don't forget to text me when you get home!" she added before exiting while giving me a semi-happy semi-hopeful look, while she gave the doctor a nod.

The conversation with Orimoto did enlighten me about a few aspects though. There was still a slight chance, I could sweep this whole incident under a rug and just get on without any added drama. I don't know how I would deal with the bullies, but that's something I'll take care of later. Time to get down to business.

"Shall we Hikigaya-kun?"

I just sighed.

* * *

She led me out of the room, and after taking care of some paperwork, we went into her office.

"Have a seat Hikigaya-kun" she offered, pointing towards the chair. I was more than happy to oblige.

"So Hikigaya-kun, what do you wanna talk about?" she asked me, leaving me more than a little surprised.

"I thought we were going to talk about you know what" I let out.

"We can If that's what you want to talk about Hikigaya-kun" she responded.

This was not what I had in mind. Definitely nowhere near as tense as I thought this would be. I gazed at her, still not able to come up with a topic of discussion.

"Hikigaya-kun, I'm not gonna force you to talk about something you don't want to." She responded to my gaze, reiterating her intentions for the session.

"Just talk to me about whatever you wouldn't be able to talk to about anything else comfortably. It won't leave this session" she added reassuringly.

I was reluctant to go through with this, but this was the only way I could get out of here. So might as well play along.

"You see doc, it all began when an old man offered me a can of Max Coffee…"

* * *

Komachi and dad should be coming any minute now. I was out getting some max coffee from the vending machines. The session with Dr. Yumi went a little over an hour and a half, much to my chagrin. I didn't expect to talk as much as I did in there, but like with Orimoto, it felt kinda nice.

I decided to take in my surroundings to pass the time and mull over today's events. Things went better than expected for the most part. Now, while things may all cheery and whatnot, I realized that I couldn't avoid that conversation, and there was no easy way to go about this.

I was lost in thought when I felt someone hug me from behind.

"Ready to go home Oni-chan?" asked the younger Hikigaya sibling, increasing the tenacity of her hug with each passing second.

I just sighed in relief, and patted her back, as we walked outside towards the car. There was a comfortable silence between us, something I really didn't expect from Komachi. Well, this got me more time to think things through, so might as well.

We got into the Civic as dad unlocked the doors for us. I couldn't remember the last time all three of us went out on this car. While I admit, it could, rather should have been under better circumstances; I felt at ease.

"So how are you feeling Hachiman?" dad asked while taking a turn.

"Much better than yesterday" I replied shortly.

"How'd the session with Yumi-san go Oni-chan?" Komachi asked.

"It wasn't bad. Not really what I had in mind, but better than I'd expected " I replied.

The ride continued with us exchanging questions about various things but was uneventful as a whole. We finally made it home. I went inside with Komachi as dad parked the car. Guess it was the moment of truth.

"I bet you must be hungry Oni-chan," Komachi said, as she dragged me into the dining room. Not that I really showed much resistance. While I wouldn't mind sustaining myself on Max Coffee for the rest of my life, that wasn't really viable realistically.

I heard the door close and heard dad's footsteps coming towards us. We were all seated on the dining table, another once in a blue moon event for the Hikigaya family. Dad usually came in pretty late, or not at all most of the time, so he was stuck with leftovers or ate out.

We all ate in peace. Talking comfortably about various things. I felt the anxiety from earlier dissipating. I and Komachi washed the dishes, while dad cleared out the table. It feels nice you know. It feels nice to be a family again, even if I'm sure It won't last long.

"Hachiman and Komachi, could you two come here," dad said, as he directed us towards the living room, where we took our respective seats. Heck, even Kamakura was here.

"I know" dad started hesitantly.

"I know that I haven't been around much, and I haven't been the best of fathers to you both. After your mother left, all I had in life was you two, and I wanted to give you the best life I could. To give you the opportunities that I never got. I realize now that, that was no excuse for my absence." He gulped as if restraining his tears.

"I'm sorry, for everything," he said, as he bowed his head in shame.

He looked really weak and exposed to me right now. I never blamed him for anything, and I don't believe for a second that Komachi did either. As such, we didn't let him stay bowed for much. We exchanged the patented Hikigaya Siblings Look. and grappled him into a hug from both sides.

"Dad, it's all right. It's not your fault" I said reassuringly.

Komachi had begun to sniffle and just continued hugging him. I've only seen my father cry once in my life, and that was when I broke my curfew and heard him cry through his bedroom.

"Dad, what I did. Everything that's happened, it's not on you" I added, trying to convince him, breaking from the hug.

"But if I was there more, then maybe you would have come to me" he argued.

"Dad, all that matters is that we're all here right now. Together." I resolved, calming him down a little.

"Whatever I did, was stupid. It was the single most stupid thing I've ever done, but I'm better now. I'm alright dad"

"Dad, Oni-chan's right, you've been a great dad, and when was the last time you saw Oni-chan this relaxed? " Komachi added.

I told dad about the bullies and all the other crap that was happening. He was seething and looked as if he wanted to go knock some heads in, but didn't say anything, patiently listening, while Komachi looked visibly aghast. I told them how I had lost hope in life, and about everything that had happened while I was still in a coma.

"How about we have you transfer schools Hachiman?" dad inquired.

"Dad, while that would be easier. It would mean bowing down. It wouldn't change anything in the long run." I responded.

"I'm gonna apply to Sobu, later this year, and it just doesn't make any sense transferring a couple of months before my time here ends" I added.

"But isn't that super hard to get into?" dad asked.

"I'll figure something out" I responded with a come what may attitude

"I'm still gonna report the school to the DOE for their attitude throughout. I have a couple of contacts, in let's just say, who would be very interested in taking matters into their own hands about this. Leave it to your dad, those guys aren't gonna get out of this" he assured me.

I nodded back.

Dad told us how he managed to adjust his job, so he would be home more, and after hearing me speak about grandpa, went ahead and told us some of his fond memories about him wistfully.

What caught both of our respective tension was the repeated use of the name "Taishi", when Komachi was talking about how things were going on in her life. Dad and I exchanged a knowing look, silently communicating that this Taishi boy needed to be… investigated.

It was time to turn in for the night. We had talked for hours on end, about literally everything that was viable. The good, the bad, the mundane. Nothing was left out. The atmosphere was the most inviting and forthcoming atmosphere this house had ever seen.

Komachi decided to sleep In my room, and I didn't really mind the company. I was in my bed, amazed at how well the day went. Tears were shed. Secrets were exchanged. Hearts were mended. All in all, it made for one helluva family night.

* * *

[1]: Fanservice trope in most anime.

* * *

 **AN:** This should be the last, or second last transitional chapter before things get more fun. Plenty of fluff to come.

Also, something I had in mind but didn't have the foresight to expand upon.

Hikigaya is 16 and Komachi is 14 in this fic.

From where I am originally from, the first two years of high school were called "First Year, Second Year" or just referred to as a middle school, while the last two years of high school were treated equivalently to high school. So that should put things into a little perspective, on why Hachiman's thought process is a little more matured.

I despise OC's, so the doc won't show up too often.

I'm loving all the feedback I'm getting. Thank you for reading, subscribing and reviewing ladies and gentlemen. It's an honor.

Till next week.


	5. Chapter 5: Learning To Breathe

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All rights are retained by the original creators. This is a non-profit work.

 **Recommended Music:** You're My Best Friend ~Queen~ and Say What You Need To Say ~John Meyers~

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Learning To Breathe**

"Oni-chan"

I heard Komachi yell … promptly ignoring her.

Not wise.

"Wake Up"

This time though, the verbal command was physically backed up, with Komachi jumping on top of me and ripping the blanket away.

While there were a number of select things I wanted to sit right now, I was only able to come up with a groggy look. I don't know how she has so much energy in the morning. Are we even really siblings?

"Oni-chan, you don't wanna be late on your first day of High School, do you? " she asked cheerily, a complete one-eighty from what she was doing a few moments ago.

Well regardless of how she went about it, she was right. I wouldn't want to be mauled by some attractive single teacher, who couldn't find a boyfriend, now would I?

I forced myself up and got ready for Sobu. Today would mark a new chapter in my life. I had managed to study my ass off for the entrance exams and managed to get decent scores. Everything fell into place when I got back to middle school. I was left alone for the most part by the bullies. I assume I owe that to Orimoto. What happened to me really didn't get out, except to a few people, but they were bound to confidentiality. All in all, things worked out, leading up to this day.

After getting dressed, I made my way down to the living room. Kamakura was lounging on his seat at the table. Yes, our cat had a seat at the dinner table. Shove it. My eyes were met with Komachi's scrumptious breakfast, which let's be real, didn't last very long.

After talking to Komachi for a bit and thoroughly gorging myself, I decided it was about time to head out.

"Oni-chan, say hi to Onee-chan for me!"

I groaned. After the whole debacle, Orimoto came over a lot and really hit it off with Komachi, which like most things in life, did not bode well for me. Speaking of Orimoto, she decided to go to Sobu as well. Which was the reason Orimoto came over a lot then? Study Sessions.

I was halfway across, to where I needed to be and was waiting for the red light to rear its head, so that I could move on. There was some traffic, mostly trucks, and whatnot, but there weren't a lot of people out right now, except some other pedestrians moving about. As I was contemplating my situation, someone walked right past me onto the impeding traffic. She was a little shorter than me, dressed in the Sobu uniform, and completely engrossed on her phone.

I initially didn't give her much attention, before I noticed a speeding truck coming. The kind that wouldn't be able to stop at a whim. While that wouldn't be a cause for alarm in most cases, the girl in question wasn't paying any attention and was inbound with a collision course with death.

I had a few seconds to act. I just followed my instincts and leaped towards her.

"Thud"

'AHHHH"

"Screech"

Ever had one of those moments when something happens, and you don't know how it happened, but you know for a fact that it happened? Heck, they even show it In the movies a lot too. Well, here's something that the movies won't tell ya. Falling on gravel and concrete with someone else's weight on you is not a pleasant experience, to say the least.

I let out a groan, as I felt a sharp pain shoot up in my left arm. The bleached hair girl had a similar groggy expression on her face. As some semblance of reality came back, I noticed the scandalous position we were entangled in.

I could feel her…ahem, "assets" push into my chest, as I all but straddled her. While I knew I could get away with prolonging this physical contact, blaming vertigo and whatnot. She had a round face, not the baby like, but not quite matured. She had two buttons open, and a tie loosely bound around her neck. Which, I won't lie, was alluring. In short, she was the sort of girl people might accuse me to harass or molest. Now that I think about it though, they'd think the same, regardless of who the girl was. I decided against prolonging the inevitable, despite how nice it felt, and got up.

"You kids alright?" asked the truck driver.

"Yeah, my arm's a little sore, but nothing too bad" I responded, as I stand up, waving my arm around a little.

"Miss you gotta be careful. I wouldn't have been able to stop the bus, and had the young man not intervened, things would be a lot worse right now" the truck driver lectured the girl, who apologized profusely for the whole thing.

"Thank you," the girl said, as she bowed her head.

"My name is Yuigahama Yui, but you can just call me Yui"

"Hikigaya Hachiman"

I glanced at my watch and notice that I only had ten minutes left to make it on time. I didn't expect this thing to drag on this long.

"Well, I gotta run. Don't wanna be late" I stated, as I tried to extricate myself from the conversation. Tried.

"Hey wait up!" she yelled, giving chase

"We're going to the same place!"

I didn't really pay her much heed and kept running. Everybody notices latecomers, especially on the first day. If I had any plans on maintaining stealth Hiki (See Loner Arts: Chapter 2, Page 9), then I needed to make sure I got there on time.

While I didn't turn back to see if Yui-san was still on the chase, I was able to hear her footsteps and panting. Eventually, I'd made it to class, with a few precious minutes to spare.

* * *

Stealth Hiki systems online. From the looks of it, people had already formed little cliques or had taken up seating with those they knew. I made it to my seat and continued to observe the inhabitants of the room.

No one paid any heed to me, and I was able to relax. That is before I felt someone tap my shoulder.

"Hachiman" I heard a sing-song voice say my name.

"Orimoto" I responded somberly, in stark contrast with her approach.

"Hey, didn't I tell you to call me Kaori?" she cried indignantly.

"If that's what you want Orimoto-san" I responded cheekily, stressing the san, to which she just pouted.

We had gotten much more comfortable with each other. I felt that as if draining all thoughts of romantic endeavors with Orimoto, the relationship we had right now was genuine. There were no agendas We were able to honestly talk to each other without beating around the bush. We actually even texted from time to time. We were friends, and that's a term I don't throw around lightly anymore. Well, I could probably count the number of friends I have on one finger, but I digress.

"Why weren't you at our usual spot this morning?" she asked, as she took the vacant seat next to me.

"It's a long story" I reply.

"MADE IT !"

"and there she is" I added. Orimoto just gave me a puzzled look, before gazing at the source.

All eyes were on the buxom klutz. Her eyes on the other hand, after quickly scanning the room, were on me. She made her way up towards us and took the seat to my left. She was going to say something to me as an attractive lady, with long black hair, going up to her knees, entered the room, and cut her off.

"My name is Hiratsuka Shizuka, and I'll be your homeroom and Japanese literature teacher"

"Hey why'd you run off without me today?" she asked, quietly.

"Well, I didn't want to be late" I responded. Though in retrospect, Stealth Hiki was a failure, considering the number of looks I got today in class.

"Yeah, but we could have gone together" she argued.

"Well, it is what it is" I gave up not trying to argue with her anymore.

"Hey Hikigaya, you never did tell me what happened today" Orimoto piped in from the side.

This led to me introducing Orimoto and Yui-san to each other and verbally reiterating today's events to her.

I noticed a weird look appear on Orimoto's face, but it quickly passed.

"Hilarious, Hikigaya"

"There's hope for you yet." She added mischievously. I just shook my head in response.

"Hey cut it out you brats" Sensei yelled.

With that, things took a shift towards the mundane, with everyone focusing on the class. I didn't have Yuigahama-san in any other class, though I had Orimoto with me for most of them. I did notice Orimoto and Yui-san giving me strange looks during homeroom, I wonder what that was about. Probably something on my face.

"Well let's get going, I have something to take care of when I get home"

"Are you watching Magi-"

Harumph

I grabbed her hand, before she could do any MAJOR harm and dragged her along.

"We'll see you later Yui-chan" Orimoto let out as we parted, leaving a stunned Yuigahama-san in our wake.

* * *

We walked together in relative silence, which was quite strange keeping in view "we" was half comprised of Orimoto. It couldn't have been that time of the month, according to my calculations. Hey, before you judge me, I had a general idea about Komachi's schedule too. Wait, that just sounds worse. Suffice to say, it is in the best interests of the masculine gender, if it wants to thrive that is, to be in the loop, about …. Um.. certain things about the opposite gender.

"So Hikigaya, how does it feel to be a hero. Saving a damsel in distress and all that good stuff" Orimoto teased, a relatively sudden shift from her earlier demeanor.

I just grumbled in response, trying to understand her shifting attitude.

While we didn't really live in the same part of town, the train station was pretty close to my house. This led to us walking back together a lot.

"So, are you gonna see Yumi Sensei this-this weekend ?"

"Yeah, tomorrow morning," I replied.

"Do you wanna hang out when you're done?" she asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I think I've neglected vita chan too much these past few days" I replied, trying to avoid getting roped into anything that would require me to get out of the house more than I needed to.

"Well, I'm sure that Komachi-chan would be thrilled to know that her brother was taking care of Vita-chan instead of getting out of the house." She said with a smug adorning her face.

"Damn woman" I mumbled, to which she just grinned.

* * *

It never got old, threatening Hikigaya using Komachi-chan. His reactions were always hilarious.

"I found this new place I wanted to check out. I'll text you the details later today, and good luck!" I told Hikigaya as we parted.

"Well today was fun" I said to myself.

I felt comparatively better than I did before. Hikigaya doesn't realize it but, he's somewhat of a calming factor for me. It's nice to be around him. I felt a little smile pop up at those thoughts. No bullshit, no drama. He's him and I'm me. Though the whole debacle with Yui-san today…

Not that she did anything weird or whatnot. She's really fun to be around, and it's nice to have another girl to talk to. Sure she may have been a little airheaded, but she seemed nice enough, but I still felt uneasy about Hikigaya, because of her. I know why though. It's because I feel a little possessive about Hikigaya. It's like, I want what's best for him, and that doesn't involve nearly getting yourself killed on the first day of high school. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do, even though I know that it's selfish.

With him potentially risking both of their lives this morning, I felt part pride at his bravery and wanted to hug him, but at the same time, a part of me just wanted to smack him for doing something so stupid. I did neither and laughed away.

"God damn it Kaori," I said out loud, with my eyes closed, as a sighed.

"Everything all right dear"

"Oba-san!" I almost yelled in shock.

How'd she got there? Wait, did I even notice her?

"I waved at you, but you looked like you were thinking hard about something," she said

I just scratched the back of my head, more than a little abashed at my spacing out.

"I reckon it's about him, isn't it" she stated, showing the same insight as before.

This led to me narrating all the stuff that had happened since we had last talked, and how I felt about everything. She listened patiently, without interrupting me and went into thought when I was done.

She then chuckled.

"You know you remind me of myself a lot," she said with a bemused expression on her face.

"In my opinion, you should talk to him about it, because if he's anything like how my husband was back then, then that's probably the best way to go about it."

"No, no, no we're not like that" I let out frantically, trying to beat down the blush brewing on my face.

'I mean he confessed, and y'know how that sorta didn't work out and everything" I added haphazardly.

She just chuckled.

"Well, what are you gonna do when some girl comes and whisks him away? " she asked.

I felt my heart drop at that.

"I mean, he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with you as he is right now. That's for sure"

I think my heart hit the ocean floor. Those thoughts…

I didn't like them.

I mean it was a given, that someday someone would see how great Hikigaya really is and drag him out of his philosophies about it. At some point, we actually did talk more in depth about how Hikigaya felt and the confession…

* * *

"I had another session with Sensei today" he stated from across the table.

"And if you don't mind, there's something I want to talk to you about, that came up during the session" he looked at me expectantly.

"I think as we are now, it's good you know." He paused for a second.

I nodded at him, not knowing where he was going to go with this.

"Orimoto, I'm sorry for confessing. It wasn't genuine, and the reasons behind it weren't right. I was misguided and thought I knew what love was. I didn't, and honestly, I don't even want to anymore."

I wanted to stop him right there and say that he wasn't stupid… but he just asked me to let him finish before saying anything.

"I'm not gonna ask you to forget about it or ignore the fact that it ever happened, but if you do, no complaints from my side. What we have now, I don't want any agendas behind it. You're my friend, and I hope I'm your friend, and that's honestly all that matters."

I nodded quickly, affirming to the fact.

"And that's all there is …."

* * *

I remember feeling a mixture of happiness and to a degree – sadness.

That sadness felt a little similar to how I was feeling right now.

"You know why you want to be his friend, seeing as you told me how much time you two have spent together since then." She stated.

"But are you content with that?" she left the question hanging in the air.

"Is it?" I asked myself.

These past few months, I've gotten to know him a lot. He's so much more than people think he is. The real question is though...

Do I like him that way?

Do I still even have a chance?

"Be true to yourself dear. Life only gives you one shot" Oba-san said, with a forlorn expression conjuring up on her face.

"I will" I replied, though I'm not really sure what that really meant.

"Why can't things ever be simple when it comes to you Hikigaya"

[line break]

"Welcome home Oni-chan"

"Tadiama," I said as I went ahead upstairs to get dressed, or rather undress.

"How was school?" she inquired, as I took a spot next to her on the couch.

"It was all right, nothing out of this world, but not too shabby I guess" I responded casually, highly understating the events that took place today.

"Onee-chan texted me about the weekend," Komachi said, as a sense of dread developed within me.

"Please don't be anything about this morning" I mentally begged some diving entity

"I'm sure I'll take really good care of vita-chan," she said slyly, as Kamakura propped up and took his seat on the couch, nuzzling against her.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day, I thought with a heavy sigh.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sorry for being a day late on the update. I blame DOTA and my failed attempts at cooking. Thing's are going to pick up pretty rapidly. For anyone who didn't realize it, this is a couple of months after the last chapter, and things have calmed down considerably... or have they?

Also, I'm sorry if I might have missed someone when replying to reviews. FF has a really crappy interface as far as that's concerned.

Thank you for reading and reviewing, see you guys next week!


End file.
